How to be a Complete and Utter F**k Up is your ultimate ANTI life coach. Be warned: whatever you do, don't do the opposite of what you learn here or else you're in serious danger of making some positive changes and leading a more successful life.
How to be a Complete and Utter F**k Up turns the concept of self-improvement on its head. It brings together 47 and a half leading ideas in personal and business development, and offers a total antidote to the motivational, gung-ho, over-enthused tone of all the usual self-improvement guides.
Delivered in fast, easily digestible chunks, in a style that makes you laugh while you learn, this book offers tongue-in-cheek advice about what not to do to ensure certain failure in every aspect of your life. From not having any goals, to not getting advice from people you've never met or who are dead, to not taking personal responsibility for your life and results, every idea, strategy, suggestion and story is guaranteed to propel you into the slow lane of total inadequacy and has been tested with thousands of real people.
How to be a Complete and Utter F**k Up comes with a warning - that you don't think about taking the direct opposite steps to those outlined in the guide, as this could seriously damage your chances of becoming a failure. Behind the humour, though, is good advice and a serious message. And whether you choose to heed the warning or not, it's an extremely entertaining read.
1 Don't decide what you want. If you do decide what you want, don't think about why you want it. And if you do decide why you want it, commit to believing you can't have it
2 Don't do things on purpose
3 Don't stop working for a living
4 Don't know what you value in life (and if you do, lose sight of it)
5 Don't spend any of your time in the future
6 Don't have any goals
7 If you do have goals, don't put them in writing, and if you do, don't think too big
8 Don't plan your priorities
9 Don't involve other people
10 Don't have a mentor or be a mentor
11 Don't get advice from people you've never met or who are dead
12 Don't take action right now
13 Don't get feedback on your actions
14 Don't adjust
15 Don't get even more feedback, don't be flexible . . . (you get the idea)
16 Don't practise continuous improvement
17 Don't wear a parachute
18 Don't change your beliefs
19 Don't stop having a deep fear of fucking up and of making a fool of yourself
20 Don't take personal responsibility for your life and results
21 Don't stop believing in luck
22 Don't expand your comfort zone
23 Don't use inside-out thinking
24 Don't put things in before you try to take things out
25 Don't control your moods
26 Don't transform your language
27 Don't think about the first four minutes
28 Don't talk and think about what you want
29 Don't go to the movies
30 Don't stop being an unthinking dog
31 Don't ask, "How do you do that?" Don't act 'as if'. And don't be naïve
32 Don't change the meaning of things
33 Don't stop thinking only about money, money, money
34 Don't have a good laugh
35 Don't be creative or innovative
36 Don't think of your own idea to go here
37 Don't stop always taking 'no' for an answer
38 Don't be grateful
39 Don't commit to lifelong learning
40 Don't be a leader
41 Don't learn to communicate
42 Don't understand the secrets of great teams and great customer service
43 Don't develop winners and winning relationships
44 Don't start moving
45 Don't believe you can be a fun-loving non-drinker
46 Believe you can beat depression
47 Don't step up. Don't do extraordinary things
47 ½ Don't stop doing everything by halves, that's if you do anything at all
Answers
